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    [CAMP-04] ABC-01 Ye Olde Arts and Crafts

    After graduating High School, Tony Carson wins the all-new Inherit a Business contest and heads to CAMP World to claim his new business where he arrives in the British Isles to associate with deer and foxes in a small medieval community. When the sheriff requires his aid in local commerce, he assists in helping the economy of the animated animal zone.

    Buckingtod Shire (British Isles) - Camp World

    [CAMP-04] ABC-01 Ye Olde Arts and Crafts.
    By Darrel Vanwinkle (Lord Pouchlaw)

    Chapter 01

    Cartoon Anime Motion Picture [CAMP] World

    "Thinking about planning a family vacation but the prices are out of this world? Why not go camping instead and save money at the same time? Welcome to Camp World, the mecca for Cartoons, Anime and Motion Picture stars and their families. Now you can visit the actual locales you would normally only see in television shows while enjoying an affordable vacation at the same time. Ask our Realtors about our real estate program for purchasing permanent vacation and retirement residences on planet. Accept no imitations! Only authorized Camp Realtors should be spoken to when planning to acquire a local home. Our prices will make you think you went back in time to the golden age of cartoons and anime when television was worth watching. Camp World is now open. For more information, visit our web site at the following address or call one of our Camp Realtors at the following toll free numbers."

    Having short dark brown hair, green eyes and tanned skin from his manual labor for his father during the summers, Antoine Brent Carson, or Tony as he preferred to be called... He hated his initials and all the jokes that came with it. Tony had won the all-new Inherit a Business contest that CAMP World was running. He did not qualify for the age restrictions on the contest at the time of entry, but the rules stated that as long as your birthday to make you legal fell on any day before the day of the official drawing, then you were eligible for the contest. The specifics of entering this contest for boys was to send in a full body photograph of yourself without your shirt on, and wearing period clothing from the waist down. For girls, period clothing from the neck down. In addition to that, a short twenty line essay describing how you would fit into the period you are emulating in the provided photograph. Then the entry form with truthful personal information along with a statement from your doctor that you are not affected by any known illnesses; and finally, at least one parental signature along with your own and the date you were entering.

    At the CAMP World departure Transportal, Mr. and Mrs. Carson were seeing their son and a few of his friends off on the official day. His mother said, "I made sure you had spare clean underwear and a good supply of soap, deodorant, and ahem, protection in case you plan on practicing it."

    Tony rolled his eyes. "Mom! You always embarrass me in public! Dad, is she like this all the time?"

    The long and braided blond bombshell of a young lady named Barbara Fonzarelli, yes, just like you might be thinking, was both a leather worker as well as an aspiring psychiatrist. "Psycho-analyzing the locals will be a lot of fun."

    The red-headed female with long flowing hair was dressed incognito at the moment with dark sunglasses over her eyes. Sonja Flare had the same issue all of the other Sonja Flare females before her had; the crazy inane agent kooks whom wanted her plans. "Thank you so much for permitting me to come with you, Tony. Did you hear what they did at the shopping mall over the weekend while I was getting my traveling clothes?"

    The tall lanky spiky haired boy with black hair and aviator goggles on his head stood with his Great Dane who was called Bomberoo. Jason Argo had seen it all in school when he wasn't working on the school newspaper and solving mysteries. He was a card carrying member of Mysteries Incorporated. Yes, Teen Force Worldwide. "I think the whole mall saw what they did. I know mall security took them away. But we got you plenty of doggy snacks, didn't we Bomberoo?"

    Bomberoo barked, "Rolf!" and then he panted happily.

    Tony sighed. "Don't make me regret that I agreed to bring you guys with me."

    Mr. Carson said, "I recall on that entry form that they will go through your luggage to search for anything that doesn't match the setting you are traveling to. And so saying that, time to hand over your wristwatch, your cellphone, and your hand held. They don't allow electronics in Buckingtod Shire."

    Tony removed his goods and handed them over to his father. And then Mr. Carson proceeded to do the same to the others. When he reached Sonja and he reached for her sunglasses, she blocked his hand. "Mr. Carson, I am hiding from the kooks, remember. I will hand over the sunglasses to the guards after we go through."

    Mr. Carson said, "Normal stalkers would have given up by now. Very well, just act like a nun on Earth and go back to normal on the other side."

    "Thank you, sire." she replied.

    Tony and company picked up their gear and one at a time began heading through the Transportal to CAMP World England for the transition to the royal stagecoach. As Sonja began to step through the transportal, everyone at the CAMP World station heard the words that Sonja was hoping to avoid hearing as a gaggle of Russian agents erupted from the crowd shouting, "There she is! We have you this time, Agent Flare! Hand over the plans or else!" Sonja chose to run through the Transportal showing her ticket to the toon guard as she went through. "Follow her!" Jason Argo and Bomberoo showed their tickets and they went through the Transportal which was then shut off so the guard could deal with the Russian agents. Out of our way, cartoon buffoons! We have to capture Sonja Flare!"

    The toon guard said, "Not without a ticket, you won't. Let us see your legal tickets for visiting CAMP World."

    At the CAMP World London transportal station, one of the British toon guards asked, "What was all that about?"

    Sonja replied, "They are Russian Agents and they are after a Russian female double agent who stupidly looks identical to me. She supposedly stole some top secret plans that would lead to world domination and they desperately want to get their hands on those papers; of which I have no clue where the plans are. They follow me around like mad; and let me tell you, my friends have seen how crazy it can get. Can we just get to Buckingtod Shire before they find a way to get on planet?"

    End of Chapter 01

    Chapter 02

    Aboard the magical stagecoach, the four friends and their dog sat comfortably watching the animated scenery pass by until they heard the coachman call out, "Tunnel to Buckingtod Shire in 30 seconds!" And in the next shimmering moment, it felt as if their hair were standing on end and goose bumps rolled all over their bodies. And after they emerged from the tunnel, the sensation was over. "We are now in Buckingtod Shire. Arrival in Buckingtod Village in twenty minutes. Please enjoy the rest of your ride."

    At that moment, a very Robin Hood like fox man poked his head into the stage coach window and said, "Which one of you is Tony Carson?"

    Tony raised his hand. "That would be me, handsome. How can I help you today?"

    The animated fox man said, "I am Bobbin of Foxley. You will have to jump for it in order to reach your new inherited business. The reason the stagecoach doesn't stop there is because the brush has overgrown the entry courtyard and it is a fixer upper. Otherwise, the sheriff will have to bring you back out here and you will arrive at the same location."

    Tony replied, "My itinerary says that I am to meet up with the sheriff and get an escort to the new business. Just point out the overgrown entrance to the business so we will know what task will be ahead of us later."

    Barbara said, "Analysis: Bobbin is somewhat in some sort of rut and he was hoping to get you off by yourself to have gay sex with you."

    Tony arched an eye and exclaimed, "WHAT?!"

    Sonja said, "I remember looking over your itinerary, Tony. The business is not along this road. It is on the road that leads to the castle. I think Barbara is right."

    Jason remarked, "Show the fox what we think of rapists, Bomberoo!"

    Bomberoo leaped up in the fox man's face and barked, "ROLF!" This cause the fox man to shat himself and fall backwards out of the stagecoach. Or rather, he started to before Tony grabbed him by one wrist and wrapped a pink ribbon around the fox's wrist tying the it to the stagecoach door. And then a second pink ribbon was tied around the fox's neck in a cute bow tie.

    Tony said, "We will turn his butt over to the sheriff when we get to the village. Heck, there may be a reward for this kidnapper."

    Jason said, "His knowing your name means that the entire Shire knows that you were to arrive today."

    Buckingtod Village, Buckingtod Shire, 590 AD, CAMP World

    Upon arriving, the four humans and their dog were greeted by the cervine king's knights as well as a mishmash of animal villagers. Nearby was what looked to be a scholar in sage's clothes, although he was a unicorn man. Tony said, "In this setting, sages and scholars were the news reporters of the day. They would collect the news and see to it that it made it to the citizen's ears. Ah here comes the sheriff. I've been in personal contact with him."

    The antlered buck wearing the armored garb of the area sheriff approached the group and he shook Tony's hand. "Ah, Tony! Welcome to Buckingtod Shire." Then he saw the fox trussed up in pink ribbons. "What is this all about?"

    Tony said, "Sheriff, this fox tried to convince me to jump for it just so he could have his way with me somewhere in the woods. Barbara surmised that the poor fox is suffering from rut or some such. I placed the pink ribbons on him as a humiliation and then I decided to hand him over to you."

    The sheriff looked at the fox and said, "Deputy Bobbin? What is your problem? Think of the bad impression you are making." The Pink ribbons were removed from the fox and he was handed over to the village healer. "Detox him and force him to drink some curative. I have to escort our guests up to their new business along Castle Road." He then turned to look at the humans and said, "I am Sheriff Hart Herdley. Just call me either Hart or Sheriff, either one will suffice. Now pick up your bags and follow me."

    Sonja piped up. "We have to walk to the business after getting a wheeled stagecoach ride to the village?"

    Tony was already picking up his few suitcases. "We were told to bring as little as allotted, Sonja. The more you bring, the more exercise you will get. Wait until you see the ladies room as well as the bathing area. If you can't handle it, then go back home to the loving arms of your fan club..."

    Sonja made a face. "OH HELLS NO! I WILL MANAGE!" She then picked up a suitcase and she used the ribbons to tie it to her own back and then she picked up the other two suitcases.

    Barbara had a simple carpetbag that contained her goods, as well as a Mary Poppins styled umbrella. Barbara was choosing to be prim and proper in every way.

    Jason was walking along with Tony as Bomberoo trotted along with suitcases strapped to his Great Dane back. "Did you know all along that Bobbin was a deputy, Tony?"

    Tony replied, "I knew that one of Hart's deputies was named Bobbin. But I didn't know he was a fox. I thought he would be the same species as Hart."

    With the village far behind them, Sheriff Hart said, "We are almost to your new business. Half-way between the village and the castle."

    End of Chapter 02


      Chapter 03

      As the Sheriff rounded the last corner of the winding road, he saw several teen aged deer and foxes, male and female both, waiting in front of the business, They all had musical instruments which they began playing when they saw the humans make the turn in the road. It was a Welcome to the Shire ballad that would often be played to a visiting king.

      Hart said, "They are the local young bards association, my friends. Follow me and I will show you the business." And he led the four humans and the large dog through the cobblestone courtyard of the roadside business. There were stables for horses to one side near a blacksmith forge; and two other shop like buildings nearest to the courtyard. He also showed them the two outbuildings with the moon symbol on the door. Then he showed them the water well which sat near a building which had what looked like bathing basins. He then showed them their living quarters which were upstairs from the main shop. This is where the humans dropped their luggage. And then he showed them an arts and crafts workshop connected to the main shop. "At any rate, Tony... this is what you have inherited in the contest. You may discipline any unruly visitors however you like as long as they are on or within your new property. Beyond that, I am the law in the Shire. And beyond me, the King's knights have a nice cosy dungeon for anyone meaning harm to the crown."

      Tony asked, "I assume that the well refills every time it rains. But what if my friends need emergency water sources before then, where would we go in that case?"

      Hart smiled. "There is a small river about mile behind your business. The local youth like to go there to swim during hot weather. And before I forget, local farmers like to come by and use the anvil in your forge to sharpen their farm tools and plows. I hope you will continue to permit them to do this."

      Tony said, "As long as that is the only thing they are doing out there, we can permit it."

      Barbara then asked, "What would be the medieval word for psychiatrist? I am an aspiring Psychiatrist and I occasionally need to practice my skills on visitors."

      Hart smiled. "You, young lady, may get a lot of business in the Shire. Heaven knows we need one. The best medieval term would be Soul Healer. Psyche- means mind, while -iatry means healing or cure."

      Barbara then said after some thought, "Then I will call myself a Soul Soother; Healers do the medical trade and the village has one of those already."

      Hart smiled. "Well thought out."

      Barbara then added. "I am also a leather worker on the side."

      Jason said, "I will likely be speaking to that nice unicorn we saw earlier. My interests are news reporting and solving mysteries. Bomberoo will be guarding the business after hours when we have to sleep. Unlike Scooby Doo, Bomberoo isn't afraid of anything. Isn't that right, my lovely doggy?"

      Bomberoo barked, "ROLF!" and then he sat there and panted happily.

      Hart smiled. "He will be curing many constipated trespassers at night. As for your interests, Jason, the sage would enjoy your assistance. But to solve mysteries, I would have to make you into one of my deputies. I will let you decide what to do now that you know your choices. And what about you, fire-hair?"

      Sonja said, "Although this hasn't come up before, I am good with a forge as well as shoeing horses as well as repairing armors and weapons. I could be of some use to the King's knights, if they can get used to a female doing a smithy's work."

      Hart grinned. "At least one of the knights would really enjoy your services. He thinks women should be in the knighthood; the king thinks otherwise."

      Tony then shook Hart's hand. "It is good to finally meet you, Hart. We will do our best to make this business into a remembered stop along the royal road." He then leaned in and he gave the sheriff a light kiss on his lips. "As I promised in my letters, Hart. I hope your mate doesn't get jealous."

      Hart said, "She said that when I get home tonight, I give her the same kind of kiss that you gave me. Methinks that she will be highly disappointed."

      Tony smirked. "If the ladies weren't present, I would really show you a good time. Maybe next time when people aren't watching." He winked.

      After the Sheriff left the business, Jason looked at Tony and asked, "Are you going gay on us, Tony?"

      Tony replied, "You can ask me that after your visit with the sage later, Jason. People in the Shire are socially open-minded toward getting to know new people and we couldn't be more new to the locals as could the barbarians of olde."

      Sonja grinned widely. "You mean that Jason is going to get raped by an unicorn?! I want the details on that! The public deserves to know! Curious human friends, you understand."

      Barbara said, "You people are sick! The long ride must have gotten to you. After a good bath and a good meal, we should be better off in the mental department."

      Tony then got ready to hear some major complaining. "If you are going to get a good meal, then you better get started on making it. They don't have refrigerators nor electric stoves in the Shire." And as expected, the other humans started complaining immediately. This lasted until the bards came inside to inquire as to what the problem was. When they heard the issue, they offered to set a table of local cuisine for the new business owners. They explained that they couldn't do this every day.

      End of Chapter 03


        Chapter 04

        Early before dawn the next morning, Tony woke up to see Deputy Bobbin near his bed holding a set of local hunting clothes of the variety that the foxes preferred. "Come on, Tony. There is still time to get your archery and hunting lesson done before the others start becoming annoying as they were yesterday. And your lady friend was wrong; I wasn't in rut; a little more than excited to finally get to meet you in person, but if I do want to play that way with you, I will always ask first."

        Tony got up and removed his pajamas as he got into the leather jerkin that Bobbin had brought for him as well as the leather shoes. "How did you placate Bomberoo the Great Dane, the dog?"

        Bobbin smiled. "I gave him some beef jerky and he happily panted and rolled over on his back where I then petted his tummy. He never barked once. Not much of a guard dog if he is susceptible to food."

        Tony quietly said, "Jason wants to go see the unicorn sage later."

        Bobbin grinned. "He is in rut. Lets get out of here."

        As they reached the back door and opened it, they saw Sonja standing there with a long bow and a quiver of arrows. "Oh shit... what are you doing?" asked Tony.

        Sonja smiled. "I saw Bobbin feed Bomberoo earlier. So much for the guard dog. I knew that was going to be a flop. Barbara is sleeping in. Good thing I brought a pack of toilet paper or we wouldn't have any. As for what I am doing... I know Bobbin is going to teach you about hunting, but I was on the archery team in high school. He might be surprised by my skills with a bow. I also know how to be quiet when hunting. I was more the tom boy back home. Frankly, I don't care what you two do behind the bushes. I know we cannot have a meal like the one last night too often or else we will be in the outhouses all the time. So if you are ready, Bobbin. Let's go."

        Tony asked, "How many skills do you have, Sonja?"

        The red head replied, "Enough to survive a war, Tony."

        Bobbin then said, "Interesting tattoo you have on your shoulder, young lady. What does a sickle and hammer crossed with a red star in the middle mean in your society?"

        Tony arched an eye. "Where do you see that, Bobbin?"

        The fox deputy grabbed Sonja by one arm and he pulled up her sleave to reveal the tattoo as plain as day. "Right here. We foxes have good eyesight."

        Tony looked at the marking as he grabbed Sonja by her other arm and he glared at her. "Are you going to tell me the truth or do I start calling you 'Comrade'?"

        Sonja met his gaze as she dropped her American sounding accent and spoke in her Russian accent. "The only way I could escape the notice of my fan club was to enroll in your high school as a Freshmen. Since I had a youthful appearance, I could pull that off easily. I was fine until the local media managed to catch a picture of me with the archery team. Then my fan club were harassing not only me but the school as well almost constantly. I no longer have the plans they want, Tony. But they would never believe that. I handed the plans over to the British secret service ages ago. Bond said he would make sure they got to the hands of his superiors. When I learned that you had won the Inherit a Business contest in Camp World, I knew that would be my one chance to finally get away from those ignorant agents. Please, Tony... let me stay and I will make sure we have food on the table and I will educate you in a good number of my skills. But please don't send me back to those idiots."

        Tony released Sonja. "Barbara and Jason deserve to know the truth. I know Jason is going to be in trouble when he goes to see the sage without a frying pan to cover his ass."

        Sonja smiled. "He might enjoy it despite his feigning shock over your going gay with Bobbin. As for Barbara, it dawns on me that this business may not be such a good location for getting a steady stream of customers. Would I be right, fox boy? Why did the last shop owner leave this location?"

        Bobbin didn't blush although even he was, you couldn't tell under the fur. "You would be correct, Sonja. Remember the location where I tried to get Tony out of the stagecoach at? Well, that is where the real business is located. This is the royal smithy where visitors are given temporary quarters where the king's inquisitor can evaluate your intentions."

        Tony said, "If that is the case, then lets get everyone packed up and move our activities over to the real business and get my business started the right way. I didn't enter the contest to participate in court intrigue."

        Sonja said, "I knew this whole set up felt as if my fan club were involved. Is the Sheriff in on the intrigue?"

        Bobbin said, "He was obeying the king's orders. But I wanted to be more honest with Tony. We cannot walk through the village when I take all of you over to the real business, we will be going through the woods. If the Sheriff sees your group passing through the village he will ask too many questions and a castle knight might overhear what is going on. Then you will be dealing with the king earlier than you want to."

        Heading back inside, they gathered their belongings and their friends and dog, before setting off with Bobbin through the woods. "And yes, Jason, there is a mystery locally."

        Walking with a still groggy Barbara and Bomberoo, Jason said, "I guess that makes sense now what with how the Sheriff paled when he learned that I was a mystery solver."

        End of Chapter 04


          Chapter 05

          At the real business location, they saw the unicorn sage finishing the laying of a magical sigil over the entrances to the walled courtyard along the stagecoach trail. "Greetings, humans. I am Nelius, the Sage, currently under a rut curse to require sexual assistance once a day. Without this assistance which Bobbin is not beyond helping me with, I fall into a magical slumber until sex is applied to me. I received this curse just after I discovered that the king was under some sort of evil spell. His isn't like mine, but his is more control than desires. The queen herself stays at the kingdom nunnery to the north of the village. When the king started acting funny, that is where she went."

          Bobbin said, "I have already helped him with his magical desire this morning so he could act without coming on to one of you. Nelius? Jason fancies himself as a mystery solver much as you were before the curse. I bring this to your attention."

          Neluis said, "Your assistance will be greatly appreciated, Jason. As you can likely tell, you can be a mystery solver without becoming a deputy. I am one such example. Apparently I got too close to the truth in the castle one time and by the next morning, I was affected by this curse and I nearly ended up in a deep sleep. If Bobbin hadn't needed some information that I had, I would still be asleep. This is not a nice curse. Bobbin lifts his tail for me when I need it so I can placate the curse. I promise not to do this with one of you unless you get caught with me overnight and I end up with the desire at dawn's light and only you are present. With Unicorns, you do not have to worry about weird pregnancies. Unicorns lay magical eggs."

          Tony said, "Now we know what is afflicting poor Nelius. We have to help him to defeat this curse. Letting him placate it does not seem like a lasting solution since the desire simply returns by the next morning. But I came here to run a business and that is what I aim to do."

          Bobbin said, "Originally Sheriff Hart simply did his job without having to report disturbances to the king. When the King initially learned that a human had won the contest and would be living in our area, he seemed happy by the idea. And then a few days before your arrival, the king and queen entertained a visiting lord whom had an odd advisor whom could apparently divine upcoming fortunes. After the king spent some time alone with this advisor, he became very cautious and suspicious of all strangers. The Lord and the Advisor slipped out of the kingdom under the cover of darkness. They have not been seen in the kingdom since."

          Nelius said, "I caught a glimpse of the advisor within the castle when I went to ask the king something in regards to the news that I collect, and when I went to see what it was I had seen, my memory gets fuzzy and I awoke at my hut outside the village feeling as if I had entered my annual rut. Initially, I simply beat myself off to relieve the unwanted feeling. Then at sun's first light, I collapsed on the ground just outside my hut and that's where I stayed until Bobbin found me and assisted me with sex which made me come awake where upon I apologized profusely to him for doing that to him."

          Barbara said, "So this nonsense only started within the last week."

          Tony said, "Well, gang, it looks like we ourselves another mystery on our hands. But I must let you guys deal with it. Stay away from the castle if at all possible."

          Sonja then stated, "This sort of reminds me of the old Scooby Doo mystery of the Ghost Clown. He would use a coin of gold to hypnotize his victims into doing things they would normally not do. And I know of a few ways to test this theory. Nelius, when was the last time you had been to the river where the young people swim to relax at?"

          The unicorn replied, "Perhaps the week before this happened to me. Why do you ask?"

          Sonja got serious at that point. "When was the last time you remember bathing?"

          The unicorn sage said, "Perhaps a day before the curse happened to me... but-"

          Sonja grabbed Nelius by one arm as she said to Bobbin, "Lead us to the river, deputy."

          When they reached the bushes within range of the river, they saw the king's knights guarding key points along the river where normally young people would be swimming at. Bobbin said, "I have never seen the King's knights guarding the river like this before. This doesn't make a lot of sense to me."

          Sonja said, "Leave this to me." And with that, she pulled off her blouse and handed it to Jason as she then went topless out to where the closest knight stood and she said with sobs, "Some bandits tried to take advantage of me, good sir. They took my decent cloak and they said they were going to do the same to the queen."

          The knight growled when he heard this lie and he pulled his sword as he shouted, "To arms, my friends! Bandits seek to defile the queen!" And he led his knights away from the river in a rushed fashion.

          Sonja went back over to Jason, retrieved her blouse and put it back on. "Sage, take off your robe or it gets soaked when you do." The unicorn removed his robe as he handed it to Jason and he permitted Sonja to take him over to the river where she promptly threw the unicorn into the river. As Nelius was submerged in the water, a crazy looking red mist arose out of the water and flew off through the sky in the direction of the castle. Then the unicorn surfaced and Sonja helped him out of the water before she took him over to Jason and handed the unicorn over to their friend. "How do you feel now, Nelius?"

          Nelius shook himself as he looked at these humans and said, "Just whom are you people. I was in the castle gathering news and all of a sudden, you are pulling me out of the river."

          Sonja looked at her friends. "Score one for Hanna-Barbera, guys. Just like I thought. The important locals are affected by an evil spell and water breaks the spell returning their memories to what they had been doing before the spell was cast. This means that the advisor was an evil sorcerer."

          End of Chapter 05


            Chapter 06

            The unicorn was getting back into his robes as Bobbin and Jason explained to him what had been happening for the last week. Nelius then said, "Oh my... I am so embarrassed. I would normally never do that to Bobbin. He is my friend."

            Tony said, "No one can blame you for an evil spell that you didn't even know that you were affected by, Nelius. Even if you are a good looking unicorn man."

            Nelius replied with relief, "Thank you for that understanding, Tony. I would have to surmise that anyone whom has been to the castle in the last week is also affected by this insidious magic. So what do we do about it?"

            Barbara asked, "When was the last time it rained in the shire?"

            Bobbin replied, "I think it was the week before the advisor and his lord arrived. I know the farmers were praying for rain and they weren't doing that this morning when I went to find Tony for his hunting lesson."

            Barbara said, "We know that water will undo this evil magic, so if we could get it to rain all over the squire while the important people were outside, then everyone would get wet and be freed of this magic. Either that or insist that everyone in the shire get baptized in the waters of the holy in order to prove their faith to the holy crown of the land. Anyone refusing would be a traitor to the crown. I would do it to prove my faith. Sonja obviously would. The boys would. Even Bomberoo loves to go swimming."

            At that moment, Sheriff Hart and the royal family appeared near the river just upstream. "Sheriff? I thought you said that the castle knights were guarding this river. The only people I see in this area are those humans and the sage."

            Hart looked over at the humans and the unicorn. Deputy Bobbin had apparently stepped away when the royals made their appearance. "Tony? Why are you and your friends near the river?"

            Tony shouted back. "The well was dry and there was no water available for both bathing and cooking! As we told you, when we arrived,.we humans like to be clean daily and we need water for cooking purposes! You yourself said that we could come get river water for those purposes if the well should ever be without water! There were no knights here when we arrived! We heard shouting in the distance about how bandits would not defile the queen's purity!"

            The king muttered, "Bandits in the Shire? This is serious business. The wells have been dry in the castle as well. Thus, we were coming here to get our morning water for cooking meals." He then raised his voice. "I apologize for not being able to greet you when you arrived, Tony Carson! I would like to see your skills in the craft for which you plan on running your business for! Your shirtless photo even made the queen interested in you! I am King Karma Cervis! The Queen, Kama Cervis, retired to the Convent for some reason!"

            Jason and Nelius then saw Bobbin up in a tree over the royal party with a bucket of water which he promptly dumped out directly on top of Hart, Karma, and the Advisor. Red mists emerged from the Sheriff and the King while the Advisor transformed into an ugly red bat creature which then exploded into harmless powder! And then, it began to rain all over the entire region.

            Sonja said, "I guess god was listening to our plan, guys."

            Barbara said, "We are getting soaked, Sonja! This is a downpour!"

            Every speck of harmless red powder that got wet, dissolved into nothingness. Jason said, "Lets get our group back to our business and get dried off."

            Soon after at the inherited business, Sheriff Hart and King Karma were allowed to dry themselves off as the humans, the fox and the unicorn did the same.

            Tony then said, "Apparently an evil magic user cast a spell upon you, your majesty, in some unspoken plot to take over the Shire. When you called for Hart to come to the castle, the spell was used on him and then he started acting strangely. When the Queen had all she could put up with the strange behavior, she moved to the convent for her own safety. When Nelius went to the castle as would be normal for him to do to verify news information with you, your majesty, the magic user had to put the spell on him as well to keep him from figuring things out. When Bobbin found Nelius in a state of what appeared to be Unicorn Rut, he gladly offered himself to the unicorn since they had been friends since childhood. And then our group came to the Shire. The magic user was expecting me, but when saw that I had arrived with two ladies and another guy with a scary looking dog, he ordered the knights to prevent anyone from approaching the river. When Bobbin told us that we had been brought to an inquisition station instead of having been taken to the real inherited business, we allowed him to take us to the real business before we went out to the river to see about getting bath water and cooking water. The Knights had been there originally, until Sonja played upon their knightly honor and made them head off to protect the queen. Not long after that, you both showed up with the advisor at the river."

            Karma looked at Hart one time before saying, "Then the Shire owes you a debt of gratitude, Tony Carson."

            Sonja said, "The evil magic user was apparently also preventing it from raining in the Shire, since water would be his undoing. He likely also dried up the wells on purpose."

            Tony said, "In case the spell prevented you from remembering what we said when we arrived, Hart and your majesty, this is an outline of our abilities. I am an Arts and Crafts major. I am good with carving items of use or just artistic pieces. Barbara is a leather worker, although her side hobby is to perform healing of the mind as a Psychiatrist. Sonja has a myriad of skills under her belt, but she mentioned that she was good with the forge. And Jason is skilled with paper products as well as being a news reporter and does mystery solving as his side hobby." The Great Dane barked at that point. "Rolf!" Tony continued, "And that is Bomberoo, Jason's companion and friend."

            End of Chapter 06


              Chapter 07

              King Karma was spending time with each human to get to know each one of them. While he was doing that, Nelius spent time with Jason and Bomberoo.

              Tony and Sonja were off with Bobbin and Sheriff Hart for Tony's hunting lesson. As was mentioned before, Sonja never missed anything she aimed at. Tony on the other hand seemed handicapped when it came to using a distance weapon. Eventually, Hart permitted Bobbin to take Sonja off into hunting territory, while he kept Tony with him in a clearing where they prepared a food cleaning and preparation station for the expected boar meat that Bobbin and Sonja would bring back.

              "I know you didn't enter the contest to hunt and kill game, Tony. Some people can do it; others can't or don't want to. I know you were initially looking toward being local by yourself. Your friends are making this experience very unbearable, aren't they?"

              Tony looked at Hart and replied, "You don't know the half of it, Hart. The first night they complained about their not being electric stoves or refrigerators; I knew there wouldn't be any before we came here. Sonja turned out to be the real Russian Spy that her fan club wants to capture for some plans she swiped for another government. Barbara and Jason are just too modern for the Shire. Bomberoo is a scare fest waiting to happen. He remains calm as long as Jason has those doggy treats. When he runs out, I don't want to put up with the cranky Great Dane. I guess my friends thought that this would be like a Scooby-Doo outing. But they miss the point; my goal was to come here to run a business and integrate with the local society - long term style; not just visit and then go home for modern conveniences. When the girls run out of deodorant and toiletries, they will be louder than they have been being. When I thought it was only going to be me, I was looking forward toward dining with you and your wife, Bobbin and his boys, the King and his wife, and with Nelius at his place. When I learned that these people wanted to come with me, I had to change my plans. Humans tend to eat too much. And I cannot do that to the locals, Hart. It would be better if my friends returned to Animated London in the present day time. It is hard to integrate when the babysitter squad is watching your every step."

              Hart nodded his muzzle as he said, "I hear you, Tony. Before we left, I overheard Barbara telling Jason and Sonja that this was turning out to be more stone age than she was expecting. And how their modern supplies were running out faster than she was expecting. I think they may be open to the idea of going back to modern London by this coming Friday."

              Out in the hunting territory, Bobbin was asking Sonja about her tattoo. "May I see that tattoo of yours again, Sonja? There is something strange about it."

              Sonja began rolling up here sleeve as she replied, "I initially didn't want to get a tattoo, but the head KGB employer said that all agents had to get one for security purposes."

              When the tattoo was exposed, Bobbin examined the skin tattoo until he tapped the red star with the tip of his hunting knife and it made a metallic sound instead of no sound at all. "I think there is something metallic within the red star, Sonja. Do you mind if I carefully cut it out of your arm? I can bandage it up if it turns out to be too deep."

              Sonja blinked her eyes. "Metallic? Oh sure, go ahead. Just be careful so I don't bleed too much."

              Within a few minutes, Bobbin had carefully removed what seemed like a flat red star-shaped sniper bullet except the flat star had a design that was unknown to the fox. After he finished bandaging her arm, he showed her the object. "I have never seen anything like this before. Have you?"

              The next few words that Sonja muttered in pure Russian were pretty damned filthy. "Those sons of bitches. They put a tracking chip in my arm. No wonder the fan club could always find me no matter what. I would barely be hidden somewhere and these jerks would appear out of the woodwork and demand that I hand over the plans."

              Bobbin asked, "What's a tracking chip?"

              Sonja chose to explain it in local terms. "It would be like a magical small piece of metal that would be attached to your body or your clothes that would permit cads and knaves to find and bother you at all times of the day and night. Without fail. You would have no privacy while you had this with you. But I know how to fix this pile of crap now that you have removed it from my body. Let's head back to the forge so I can use the sledgehammer."

              At the forge with Barbara, Jason, Nelius and Karma in attendance, Sonja placed the smell metallic red star on the anvil as Bobbin handed the Russian lady the sledgehammer.

              Sonja said, "My fan club's employer chipped me without my knowledge. Bobbin discovered the deception and now we are going to destroy the damned thing before we head back out to resume hunting."

              Bobbin explained it to the unicorn and the royal stag in the same words that Sonja had explained it to him.

              Sonja took careful aim and when she slammed the sledgehammer into the red star, there was the funny smell and mysterious smoke as the smell red star sparked and was reduced to metallic powder, especially after she slammed the damned thing a few dozen times for good measure. "That's that. Now to get back to hunting."

              Jason said, "I guess that explains how they could always find you when most of us didn't even know where we were ourselves."

              Barbara said, "I am sure they have a way to detect that the tracking chip has been destroyed. They will try to find the last place you had been traveling to and search that location for you."

              Sonja said, "Then that means they will be driving Animated London crazy while they look for me there. You know, the stone age is starting to sound more inviting now."

              Barbara said, "Jason and I are going to need emergency supplies soon, Sonja. You don't have to come along, but T.P. and deodorant for humans is a must. We have plenty of soap."

              End of Chapter 07


                Chapter 08

                Out in the woods, Hart and Tony had left their waiting spot and they had gone to a nearby cavern where emergency sleeping cots and fluffy furred rugs were laid out on the back floor. Apparently one of Sheriff Hart's urges had arose and Tony had volunteered to help him with it. Hart was saying, "Your friend Barbara was sure that Bobbin was going to get to lay you first, you said?"

                The human boy removed his clothes as he laid them aside where as he watched Hart disrobe next. "She couldn't have known that you and I had conversed for a while before the day to move into the Shire occurred. I never told her that your mate or wife was actually another male Cervine here in the Shire. I've been looking forward toward assisting you with your sexual issues."

                Once Hart was undressed, he said, "Now remember Tony, if this starts to hurt, stop me immediately. Nelius would normally help me with this, but since he is spending time with Jason, I am lucky you still want to help me."

                When Sonja and Bobbin came across the location where they had left Tony and Hart, the red-head said, "Now where do you suppose they went?"

                Bobbin remarked, "I think I know, but we should focus on our hunting for now. They will return shortly."

                And off they went.

                Barbara finished psychoanalyzing King Karma Cervis as she said, "The real you is a just and righteous king, Karma. You love your wife, the queen, very much and you hope to someday have some healthy children through your mateship with her. You would love to have a healthy son in the knighthood whom could someday rule the Shire in your eventual absence once he became a responsible adult. Thank you for allowing me to analyze your life, your majesty."

                Karma remarked, "Your ability is a lot better than some of the charlatans I have dealt with before. And a lot more clear in your telling, as well."

                Barbara then asked, "The queen is a female, is she not? I ask because you admitted that males sometimes take a male mate in the Shire."

                Karma replied, "Why of course she is. She would never be able to get into the convent if she was a male. Unlike the Sheriff's mate. Such a sad tale that was..."

                The female leather worker asked, "What happened with Sheriff Hart's mate?"

                The king said, "I would hate to tell someone else's story, Ms. Barbara."

                Barbara replied, "Please... if I am to help Hart later, I need to know some details about him from someone he respects. He said that you were such a person." Okay, she fibbed on that part, but the king knew the story and she needed him to tell her the tale.

                King Karma said, "It occurred way back before I became king here. I had been serving King Arthur in the far South, when this tale reached our ears. Hart had been a knight of the former lord of the land; his name is not important. For years, Hart had been seeing a lovely doe of a deer and he would often bring her favors to win her charm and eventual hand in marriage. One day, he presented her with a golden tiara and he asked her if she would be his wife. Initially, she said yes. On the day that Hart was to marry the doe of his dreams, he was at the chapel with his best man, another buck named Hindsong, and part way into the day, a messenger arrived and handed the priest a note. The priest read it to himself and then he closed his holy book as he said to Hart that his doe had run off with a traveling merchant she had been seeing at the same time Hart had been wooing her. The merchant had apparently offered the doe a diamond ring which she felt was more valuable than Sir Hart's love and all the gifts he had ever brought her. Hart was devastated but then his best man offered to marry him since a doe couldn't see the real prize in the glare of a diamond. A traveling witch was passing through the village that night and Hart told her of his disappointment and how he would never be able to have sons now that his doe had run off with all the gifts he had given her as well as the merchant he didn't even know had existed. The witch offered to make Hart capable of making sons the day he was with a male of compatible respect whom wasn't already married in exchange for a small bag of coins. Hart not thinking of how she had worded the offer, accepted the magical enchantment for himself and his male mate. That night when he met with his mate, they both drank of the magical enchantment and then they tried to mate with each other. And then they waited... and waited... and waited... but sadly, the enchantment was specific. Hart could not make sons with someone he was already married to. The male he did it with had to be single. Later when I earned the right to be king of this region, I met with Hart whom was then a sheriff and I explained the mistake in the wording that he had missed. But I did give him hope when I said he would meet a male he respected someday and then he would have sons."

                Barbara hummed. "How often does Hart's desire to mate with someone occur?"

                Karma said, "Before the evil spell was laid upon us all, he would enter that need at the oddest times, but at the least, it was every three days; sometimes sooner if the male was producing the virgin scent in his presence. And before you ask, all males can make the virgin scent out of their anuses until they are mounted by another male. For females, as you are likely aware, the virgin scent is emitted from the vagina until she participates in penile sex. My former lord helped me to defeat my virgin scent before I left to go serve Arthur. And once I had been with my wife, the queen, she no longer made the virgin scent. But at the time, she said she wasn't ready to have children."

                Barbara said, "I know Jason has been mounted when he was younger; Sonja has admitted that she has had sex many times. And I lost my virginity with a jerk of an old boyfriend whom I thought I could trust. My dad almost killed him. Tony on the other hand... He said he was saving himself for that special someone. So he might still be a virgin."

                King Karma then hopped out of the chair he had been in. "Then we need to go find him right away! When Sonja and Bobbin were here, they said that Tony and Hart were waiting for them out in the woods by themselves! Jason! Nelius! Come here at once! And bring Bomberoo! Hart might be about to get Tony in trouble without realizing it!"

                End of Chapter 08


                  Chapter 09

                  When the group arrived at the cavern, they found Hart waiting at the entrance looking distraught. Karma said, "You didn't..." Nelius and Jason bypassed the buck and went on inside.

                  Bomberoo sat with Barbara and said, "Rolf!"

                  Barbara said, "That's right, Bomberoo. You found them."

                  Hart replied, "I started feeling that way and Tony offered to help me... and before I could remember to tell him what might happen if he got too close, it was too late. My mate, Hindsong arrived just before you did and he is playing midwife to Tony so he could help him birth out the male bucks that Tony got pregnant with. It is embarrassing enough."

                  Within the cavern, Nelius took over for Hindsong whom in turn looked at Jason and, like Hart, had sex with the nice boy resulting in a second pregnancy of an equal amount. As for why Jason permitted the Buck to mount him, was anyone's guess. But afterwards, Jason was laying next to Tony also giving birth.

                  Tony said, "Why did you let him do that, Jason?"

                  Jason replied, "Because I didn't want you to be in this by yourself. Besides, it doesn't hurt, does it?"

                  Tony said, "My first one isn't out yet and I developed two. The magic key word was the plural word sons. So when Hart and Hindsong mount someone, the result is going to be two sons each time. You don't have sex with Bomberoo, do you?"

                  Jason blushed. "Only once when he surprised me when he was younger. I didn't get pregnant from it, but I forgave him anyway. He's my doggy."

                  Back outside the cavern, Bobbin and Sonja walked up to where Hart was being confronted by Karma and Barbara. "We thought it was you guys in front of the breeding cavern. Bobbin told me that this is where bucks and tods like to take their does and vixens so they aren't blatantly doing this in public. Hunting was actually pretty good, we were taking our game back to get it prepared for dinner tonight. So who is in the cavern. Did Tony get knocked up by Hart?"

                  Karma replied, "Hart accidentally knocked up Tony and Hindsong was in there playing midwife to Tony and then Jason and Nelius went it to help. Except since Hindsong suffers from the same thing as Hart, I would have to guess that Jason is also knocked up now by way of Hindsong."

                  Barbara said, "And since Nelius is the local unicorn, he is not compatible to the bucks or has anti-magical protection so they cannot knock him up."

                  Hart nodded his head. "And that would be correct. Nelius had been helping us both for that very reason. So when Tony offered to help me during the time of my urges, I should have remembered what could happen, but I didn't until he started to have body inflation and then it was too late. I am just glad that it is a magical gestation or Tony and Jason would be fat for ten months and unable to move."

                  Karma said, "At least with this event finally out of the way, the two of you won't be suffering from this anymore. The old witch said that it would only continue until after you made sons through this method."

                  Hart sighed sadly. "I didn't mean to do this to Tony. He is my friend."

                  At that moment, both Tony and Jason screamed like little girls as the first of the two sons began to come out of them. Hart rushed back into the cavern, although Karma and Bobbin prevented the ladies from going in.

                  Bobbin said, "Karma is right, Sonja. We need to get this game back to the kitchens at the business. Come on, Bomberoo, we can get you another treat back at the business."

                  The Great Dane looked happy at that point as he padded off with Bobbin and Sonja.

                  Barbara said, "A treat won't work for me."

                  Karma said, "Perhaps I can take you to meet with my wife and then you can psychoanalyze her."

                  Barbara smiled. "That will work. Let's go." And the two headed off en route to the convent.

                  An hour later, the second set of screams occurred and the second round of male fawns were removed from the two human bottoms where they got their initial baths.

                  Tony managed to smile at Jason. "Welcome to Shire life, Jason. We have had our initiations. Wait until the ladies go through something like this."

                  Jason said, "I aim to be anywhere but here when they do that."

                  Hart and Hindsong were both extremely happy now that they had children and the proceeded to clean and play with their new offspring. Nelius helped the two human boys by applying healing cream to their anuses so they could heal from this magical sensation. "And now you know why we unicorns have magical protection."

                  End of Chapter 09