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    Medieval RPG: Joe's Bar Fellowship

    Title: Medieval RPG: Joe's Bar Fellowship
    Description: a 1st Ed. D&D styled Greyhawk adventure

    Bluestar - July 27, 2005 03:37 AM (GMT)

    A group of bugbears walks into Joe's Bar. And while the lesser bugbears heads off to various parts of the chamber, their leader approaches a very beautiful woman who has pointed ears, who is standing at the bar.

    The Bugbear Leader steps up beside the woman, turns slightly to her, and says, "Hey Babe! Wanna do it?"

    DreamWolf - July 27, 2005 03:55 AM (GMT)

    The tall slender aquatic blue female turns and looks the bugbear over with disdain. Flipping her long black hair back over her shoulder she turns away and picks up her tankard of ale calmly saying, "Go away, you monster."

    Bluestar - July 28, 2005 07:10 PM (GMT)

    The bugbear placed one hand on the counter, as he focused on his prize to be more fully. "Oh come on, babe... I'm good." He winked.

    DreamWolf - July 29, 2005 02:26 AM (GMT)

    Not even bothering to look back at the hideous bugbear, the woman finished off her ale, motioning to the bartender for another. While waiting for her refill she said, a bit more forcefully, "Back off, creep."

    Bluestar - July 29, 2005 05:33 AM (GMT)

    A man with a blue star birthmark on his forehead was having a drink at a side table, with a paladinic male figure. The blue starred man said, "Be prepared for trouble, old friend."

    The paladin replied, "This is Joe's Bar, Jack. There is always trouble here."

    Jack replied, "Yeah, Baxter, but this time it involves a lovely lady."

    Baxter turned his head to see what Jack was referring to.

    At the bar, the ugly bugbear batted his dirty eyelashes, as he said, "Puh-leeeeeease???"

    DreamWolf - July 29, 2005 06:02 PM (GMT)

    At a table closer to the bar a fair, golden woman in pale flowing robes sat watching the drama unfold at the bar. She could tell the outcome would be horrendous. Why couldn't the filthy monsters just leave well enough alone?

    The woman at the bar tilted her head and glared at the bugbear.

    "No."

    Bluestar - July 30, 2005 07:03 AM (GMT)

    The fugly Bugbear turned to leave, but then, he turned back, and groped the elvin woman's butt crack with his hands, as he laughed! "Heh heh heh..."

    Baxter placed his hand on his sword hilt, as Jack was doing the same thing. They could figure out what was coming.

    DreamWolf - July 31, 2005 12:43 AM (GMT)

    Before the bugbear could even pull his hand away the elven woman moved, pulling her long sword from it's sheath, and making one quick, smooth slicing motion, cleanly decapitated the bugbear.

    She stood silently for a moment watching the bugbear's body slump to the floor. His head rolling off to the side.

    "Now to clean my sword," she said, wiping the blood off her sword onto the bugbear with 3 quick swipes.

    Bluestar - July 31, 2005 12:59 AM (GMT)

    The other Bugbears all pulled their weapons and shouted, "Fight! Fight! Let's start a fight!" And they all began to converge on the elvin woman.

    Well, they started to...

    Jack and Baxter were instantly to their feet with their swords drawn. The famed Multistar Battlesword and an equally noteable Holy Avenger!

    DreamWolf - July 31, 2005 01:23 AM (GMT)

    The elven woman smiled and took the classic fighting position, motioning for the bugbears to bring it on.

    The fair and golden elven woman in ropes stood and began chanting.

    Bluestar - July 31, 2005 03:11 AM (GMT)

    Joe ShadowWing was standing behind the bar, thinking, Here we go again... The Greyhawk City officials had forced him to move his bar outside of the city walls because of fights like this. At least this is good for business.

    Baxter swung his Holy Avenger at a Bugbear who had swung his club at Baxter, slicing the Bugbear's suspender in two, causing his pants to fall down!

    Jack pointed his sword, the Multistar, at a Bugbear, shouting, "SETTING 2! BYE BYE!!" Jack pushed the button on the hilt, and suddenly, the Bugbear he aimed at vanished from the room; his equipment just fell on the floor.

    2 miles high over the nearby river, the Bugbear appeared in midair, then plummeted like a stone!

    DreamWolf - July 31, 2005 05:30 PM (GMT)

    "FOR THE HONOR OF GREYSURF!" the elven woman shouted, laughing as she proceeded to slice another bugbear in two.

    "IMOBULOUS MONSTROUS!" shouted the fair, golden elven woman causing a bugbear to freeze in place, mid stride.

    And then it turned into a free for all.

    Bluestar - August 1, 2005 08:08 AM (GMT)

    From the open balcony over the bar, a male halfling of Keoland wearing extra thick gloves, a human male Wolf Nomad from the north, and a human male war wizard from Ket had been having drinks at one of the secluded conference tables in the balcony chamber.

    Well, they were having drinks.

    Now, they stood at the railing watching the fight unfold, as more bugbears rushed in from outside of the tavern.

    The wizard pointed his Staff of the Magi at one of the bugbears and shouted, "CRYSTALBRITTLE!" Suddenly, the bugbear's fur, clothing, and armor turned into a solid sheet of crystal, causing the bugbear to fall forward, shattering into a million pieces as he hit the floor!

    "Good shot, Thirteen!" yelled the halfling!

    The Wolf Nomad then leaped off of the balcony and tackled two large bugbears, taking them both to the floor, as he proceeded toward beating the crap out of them both!

    DreamWolf - August 1, 2005 05:53 PM (GMT)

    A black robed figure that had been sitting in the corner joined the fray, taking out a bugbear with a single cleave of his broadsword.

    The golden female elf swung her quarterstaff, knocking the imobile bugbear off his feet. There wasn't enough room in here for one of her more powerful spells.

    "Supid bugbears! Can't take 'no' for an answer!" Jan shouted, as she engaged two bugbears.

    Bluestar - August 1, 2005 07:33 PM (GMT)

    One bugbear tripped and fell too close to the halfling, who responded by yanking off his heavy glove and slapping the bugbear right square dab in the center of his face!

    Instantly, the bugbear had the head of a cow! "MOOOOOOOOO!!!! I'll get yOOOOOOOO for this!"

    The halfling was already putting distance between himself and the bugbear, while working to get his magical glove back on his hand.

    DreamWolf - August 1, 2005 07:42 PM (GMT)

    A bug bear picked up a table and threw it at Jan. Seeing what was happening the golden elf shouted, "ARESTO MOMENTUM!" causing the table to freeze in mid air. She then cracked the bugbear over the head with her staff.

    Jan was engaged with another nasty, smelly bugbear closer to the bar. She thoroughly hated bugbears. More than any other creature she had ever encountered. She'd rather deal with stirges. And that was saying something.

    The black ROBED male was making his way toward the door, cleaving through the bugbears still pouring in from outside. 'How many are there?' he thought as he stopped to fight a couple more.

    Bluestar - August 1, 2005 08:09 PM (GMT)

    Joe then shouted, "HEY! No busting up the furniture or everyone in the fight gets teleported to the heart of Furyondy! And I'm not fooling around, either!"

    Baxter exclaimed aloud, "I think this fight should be moved outside! Thirteen? Care to do the honors?"

    Thirteen replied with a Lawful Evil grin, "My pleasure!" And instantly, the whole fight was out on the docks of Greyhawk City! A lot more maneuvering room there!

    Jack then zapped another bugbear with his Multistar, sending that bugbear 2 miles into the sky over the Wooly Bay!

    DreamWolf - August 1, 2005 08:49 PM (GMT)

    Glad to be outside where she could use some of her more powerful spells, Anna, the golden elf, shouts, "MONSTROUS IGNIS!" causing two of the bugbears to burst into flame. They both let out horrendous screams as they ran flailing down one of the docks, falling into the river.

    Jan, grateful for the extra space immediately set upon another bugbear.

    Bluestar - August 1, 2005 10:51 PM (GMT)

    Thirteen chanted, then shouted, "CATENA LIGHTNING!" As a chain lightning bolt shot out striking only bugbears, frying his foes and singing their fur.

    DreamWolf - August 2, 2005 02:46 AM (GMT)

    The dark robed man threw off the confining robe now that they were outside, revealing a tall, handsome Drow elf. He continued to drive the bugbears back with a serious of well orchestrated thrusts.

    Jan laughed as she finished off a singed bugbear. It seemed to her that fight was beginning to wind down, now that many of the bugbears had either been burnt to a crisp or deep fried. There were a few left who were stupid enough to put up a fight, but without there leader she doubted that they would last much longer.

    Bluestar - August 3, 2005 07:10 AM (GMT)

    And no sooner had Jan thought this, the remaining bugbears fled, while those close to the river dove into the waters to swim away.

    The halfling shouted, "And don't come back, or I'll REALLY have to lose my temper!" He turned toward the others. "We showed them!"

    DreamWolf - August 3, 2005 03:56 PM (GMT)

    Jan began cleaning her sword and looked at the others who had drove off the bugbears. What an ecclectic group, she thought. And then she saw the Drow.

    He was backing away slowly, hoping no one would notice him. He scooped up his robe and tried to make his way to his horse unnoticed.

    Anna approached Thirteen and said, "It is a pleasure to meet another wizard. I am Anna."

    Bluestar - August 3, 2005 10:59 PM (GMT)

    Thirteen crossed his arms and replied, "Thirteen, Magickal Scion of the 13th Plane of Hell, Magickal Advisor to Lord Asmodeus." He paused with a sly grin. "On vacation."

    The Wolf Nomad prince smirked. "Thirteen, why do you always tell people that? It's hilarious!"

    Thirteen replied, "It's the truth, Prince Wolfen. By the way, where is Arnold at? We did agree to keep an eye on him. We have to make sure he keeps his magickal gloves on."

    The halfling came out from behind a barrel, as he finished pulling his pants back up, and securing his gloves on his hands. "I'm right here. Nature called, you know. And no, I didn't enchant any toilet seats, this time..."

    DreamWolf - August 4, 2005 03:58 PM (GMT)

    "So you're Thirteen. I've heard much about your exploits," Anna said, discreetly stepping away from Arnold.

    Jan was eyeing the retreating Drow, but she made no move to stop him in his covert attempt to leave the scene. After all, he had helped fight the bugbears and she didn't see him as a threat. In fact there was something about him that just didn't fit.

    Shrugging she turned her attention to the man with the big sword. Now THAT was a specimen she'd like to spend more time pouring over. Not only was he attractive, but he could definately hold his own in battle, and that was always a plus.

    Bluestar - August 5, 2005 07:04 AM (GMT)

    The two men with the swords, Jack and Baxter, were no where near Thirteen, Wolfen, nor Arnold. They were preparing to mount up on their warhorses.

    Jack asked, "Where are you heading next, Baxter?"

    Baxter replied, "Lawdelgon and I are heading toward the Grand Duchy of Geoff. I've heard that they're having Orc problems. Where are you heading, Jack?"

    Jack mounted up on his stallion. "Misfit and I are heading the the Great Kingdom where I've been hired to dig a shipping canal from the sea to the capital city. Personally, I think it's a mistake, but the king won't listen to reason, so... I have a ditch to dig."

    Baxter laughed, as he mounted Lawdelgon. "Where should we meet next time?"

    Jack hummed. "Why don't we converge at the southern edge of the Bright Desert? Wader is supposed to meet us both there in a few months, anyway. That is, if he's not still following that dumb-dumb treasure map he BOUGHT from the Snow Barbarians."

    Baxter nodded his head. "Yes, I think poor Wader got snookered, that time. Then that is where we will meet."

    DreamWolf - August 5, 2005 05:35 PM (GMT)

    Jan approached Jack and Baxter.

    "You know Wader? And you are willing to rely on him?" she asked, laughing. "Well, it just so happens I was on my way to find him. I'm supposed to deliver something to him. Would you mind terribly if I traveled with you for awhile, since you seem to know where he is supposed to be?"

    The Drow had mounted his horse by now and was heading away from the city. So much for that, the thought. He'd just have to set up camp somewhere secluded, but not too far from the main road, after all, he wasn't sure if he was up to taking on a horde of monsters by himself.

    Bluestar - August 7, 2005 12:46 AM (GMT)

    Baxter grinned. "Get your horse and we'll head out together. Unless you don't have one, then you can ride with Lawdelgon and I. I think Misfit has one-rider syndrome."

    Jack and Misfit grinned.

    Jack said, "I am a fighter, of sorts, from the City of Random, and Baxter is a Paladin of Furyondy."

    Baxter nodded his head. "Jack and I have known each other for a few months, since... um... since Jack appeared out of nowhere..."

    Jack laughed. "I didn't appear out of nowhere. This worl-, I mean, this continent was a bathroom stop."

    DreamWolf - August 7, 2005 03:41 AM (GMT)

    Jan let out a shrill whistle and a large blood bay mare came trotting up to her.

    "Thanks for the offer but I do have my own transportation. Knowla has been my faithful companion for many years now. And I'm a fighter also, from captive city of Dyvers."

    Jan mounted up.

    "I'm ready."

    Bluestar - August 7, 2005 04:11 AM (GMT)

    Thirteen grinned. "Looks like the sword fighters are all sneaking AWAY FROM, the rest of us."

    Prince Wolfen says, "They're probably going to find a brothel." He winks.

    Arnold laughed! "With THAT elf? Even I know better than that!"

    DreamWolf - August 8, 2005 04:21 AM (GMT)

    Anna frowned at Prince Wolfen and shook her head.

    "Well, I suppose I should be off as well, apparently my traveling companion has forgotten about me," she said, moving toward an elegant palomino horse that was quietly standing by. "It was a great honor to meet you, Thirteen."

    Jan managed not to groan when she saw that Anna had mounted up and was riding toward her. "I was hoping to ditch her," she muttered under her breath.

    Bluestar - August 8, 2005 05:01 AM (GMT)

    Thirteen mounted up on a nightstallion, Prince Wolfen mounted up on a giant wolf, and Arnold mounted up on a weird looking donkey with rabbit ears and a unicorn's tail.

    Thirteen said, "Keoland, here we cum! Ho!"

    And they set off for the southwest.


    Baxter asked, "Ditch who, ms. fighter?"

    Jack smiled. "I think she means that beautiful magicianess who helped out in the fight."

    DreamWolf - August 8, 2005 06:19 PM (GMT)

    "I know you weren't going to be leaving without me, now were you, Jan?" Anna asked, pulling up beside her.

    Jan pasted on an obviously fake smiled and replied, "I wouldn't have dreamed of it, Anna. You know how much I thoroughly enjoy your company."

    "Yes, I know," Anna said, clearly not fooled. Turning to the men she introduced herself, "I am Anna, of Furyondy. It's a pleasure to meet you."

    "Thoth, help me," Jan mumbled, beseeching her god.

    Bluestar - August 8, 2005 09:45 PM (GMT)

    Baxter said, "I am Sir Maximillion Baxter, though Jack, here, calls me Baxter. He says that he once knew a Max that was a real bastard."

    Jack grinned. "And I am Jack Whitestarre. And I know my star is blue. I didn't give myself my last name. Sue my parents if you don't like it."

    DreamWolf - August 9, 2005 01:35 AM (GMT)

    "My given name is Jan Greysurf, and Wader is actually my brother. Not that I like to claim him most of the time. I sometimes wonder how we could possible be from the same womb, he's not always the brightest willow-the-wisp in the swamp," Jan said, laughing.

    "I won't bother you with my GIVEN name. Just Anna will do. And it's much easier to pronounce. Shall we be off then?" she asked.

    Bluestar - August 9, 2005 02:09 AM (GMT)

    Baxter grinned, as they were riding. "Were you aware that Wader bought a treasure map from the Snow Barbarians a month ago?"

    DreamWolf - August 9, 2005 02:11 AM (GMT)

    "I didn't know about it but I'm not surprised. Nothing my dimwit brother does surprises me anymore," Jan laughed, shaking her head. "At least his twin sister has more sense than he does. Of course, she's reclusive."

    Bluestar - August 9, 2005 02:17 AM (GMT)

    Jack laughed. "So as far as you know, they could be together!"

    DreamWolf - August 9, 2005 02:27 AM (GMT)

    "Wader? And Blue-Shadow? Together?" Jan burst out laughing. "Not likely. Blue-Shadow is a druid and she seldom leaves her forest. And she wouldn't set foot on Wader's ship unless she absolutely had to. So, no, I'm certain they are NOT together."

    Bluestar - August 9, 2005 02:50 AM (GMT)

    Just then a swarm of will-o-the-wisp flew across the road!

    Just as suddenly, a puppy looking person ran across the road chasing them! "Come back! I just want to splat you! Please?!"

    Jack laughed. "Someone's busy, looks like." He turned to Anna. "What can you tell us about your family, Anna?"

    DreamWolf - August 9, 2005 03:11 AM (GMT)

    "I have no siblings, and my mother and father are both wizards," she replied. "Nothing as exciting as Jan's family. And what of your family, Jack?"

    Bluestar - August 9, 2005 03:24 AM (GMT)

    Jack sighed... thinking back to the Super Stars, World Protectors, Olivia Crane, Sidekicks Inc, Liver, Crio Bio, Madame Borva and her button, von Shlepper, and the Heroes From Hell. "I... have a... few siblings... not like I'll ever see them again..." He wiped some tears out of his eyes.

    Misfit pivoted his head up at Jack, thinking, Don't cry, Jack. You'll get home someday.

    DreamWolf - August 10, 2005 11:52 PM (GMT)

    Jan tilted her head and frowned.

    "I understand how you feel, Jack. My mother died sometime ago, so I am familiar with loss. If it helps at all, it does get easier to deal with," she said, her empathy quite unlike her normal callous nature.

    Bluestar - August 11, 2005 01:45 AM (GMT)

    Baxter said, "My only family is my two warhorses, my keep, my three squires (all boys) and a hellhound named Tollbooth, whatever that means."

    DreamWolf - August 12, 2005 04:45 PM (GMT)

    "Beats me, I couldn't tell you without some major praying to my God," Jan said, pondering the odd name.

    She'd have to remember to ask Thoth the next time she prayed, depending on whether or not there wasn't something more important for her to ask him. But until then, it would just have to be one of those unsolvable mysteries.

    Bluestar - August 12, 2005 11:00 PM (GMT)

    Baxter smiled. "He's a good hunting hound. That's a good thing about him. And he likes to talk to my squires."

    DreamWolf - August 13, 2005 03:45 PM (GMT)

    "So how is the two of you met my brother? I mean, he very seldom comes ashore, unless of course he's got an itch that needs scratched, if you know what I mean. He spends the majority of his time on his boat traveling from one port to the next, and of course fighting with the dragon turtle," Jan laughed at the thought.

    Bluestar - August 13, 2005 05:34 PM (GMT)

    Jack laughed. "Baxter and I were in the County of Sunndi, fighting a giant squid, and Wader lost control of his ship and rammed the squid right up the ass!"

    Baxter coughed! "DERIERRE, Jack! I thought we agreed to not say that word!"

    Jack grinned. "How come we can't say ASS, but it's okay to say ASSASSIN? That has 2 ASSES with the suggestive word of IN." He winked.

    Baxter just groaned, as he tried to pretend that Jack wasn't there.
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