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  • WTH-NK-01 Speedy Paws

    WTH-NK-01 Speedy Paws
    By Darrel James Vanwinkle
    January 3rd, 2016

    Chapter One

    As my buddy Night often says, the Producers love cases like ours. 'ello mates. My name is Nick Kane from Australia. And this is the tale of 'ow Ah ended up as Warpdrive the Australian 'usky and everything that occurred afterward. Again, as my buddy Night says, Ah am just FAST! Unlike Night, Ah wasn't in the Sponsor programs nor was Ah assigned a Big Brother toon to 'elp me with a life problem. Truth is, Ah was part of a guided tour, one of many, of a local dog snacks factory 'ere on Earth. That's right. Ah wasn't even on QC Planet when this 'appened to me. But anyway, where to begin... Ah suppose the beginning is a good place. Now if Ah was as funny as Wonder Dog, Ah would probably start out by saying something like... In the beginning, there was nothing. And God said let there be light and there was. But Ah am not a comedian like that bloke is when 'e is dealing with Ace, so Ah'll play the straight card instead and just tell yas mates the way it really 'appened.

    Funny Ah should mention God. Yas see... Ah'm a choir joey for the local church. My father is a minister; my mother is a school teacher. So Ah got education on both sides. But when Ah am not doing the church stuff, Ah was usually tinkering around with mechanics. Ah don't think my father liked it the first time Ah disassembled the riding lawn mower. 'e got so upset. But by that night, not only did Ah 'ave it back together again but it was working better than it 'ad when 'e bought it. 'e heard me mowing the lawn and came out to see what was going on. Ah got the praise of God that night. Ah redeemed myself from that little adventure. But they say yas cannot learn unless yas experience it. Another time, my mother got mad at the family car because it wouldn't start on the day of an important meeting she couldn't afford to miss. Ah was immediately out there with the 'ood open and within four minutes, the car was not only running but far better than it 'ad the day before. More praise for my skills. Ah'm a life saver according to my mum.

    Before yas get the wrong idea, Ah'm not an only child 'ere in the Outback; far from it. My older brother Mickey works for a telly station in Sydney. Oh Ah should mention this; 'e 'ates to be called Mickey; 'e prefers the shortened Mick. 'e 'as often said that 'e is no mouse.

    Now back to me.

    Over in Longreach, a new factory was built and the place was funded by that cat lord from QC Planet, Lord Albert Atticus. The name of the place was Toonium Treats, Anime Candy for Toon Canines. Once a week, they gave two guided tours through the factory. The afternoon Ah arrived to join a tour, Ah was disappointed to learn that Ah 'ad missed the last tour by two 'ours. No more tours for a week were scheduled. Ah 'ad come a long way on my motorbike just for this tour and Ah wasn't about to leave without seeing the insides of this place. Ah parked my bike across the pavement at a service station, then Ah crossed the road to the factory. No one seemed to be around but Ah wasn't going to go 'ome after making this trip to see the new factory. Fortunately, Ah got my chance when Ah saw what looked like a toon wallaby flicking 'is cigarette into a waste bin and 'eading for an employee's door which 'e 'ad the key to. The moment 'e was through the open door and before it could shut, Ah dashed over and stepped inside the factory. Now Ah was in. Ah didn't see where the employee went but Ah came for the tour and a tour Ah was going to take.

    If anyone caught me in there, Ah would just say that Ah got separated from the tour group and was lost for a bit. 'opefully that didn't occur for a while because Ah wanted to explore.

    Ah 'ad been wandering around for about an 'our and fifty minutes, when Ah suddenly 'eard over the intercom system, "Attention Employees! Automation will being in five minutes! Report to the front of the factory for your paychecks! That is all!" At the moment, Ah 'eard people beginning to come out of their control booths. Ah quickly grabbed a large sack marked Caffeine and positioned it on a metal plate near the railing and then Ah 'id myself before the bag. Of course Ah was thinking, There is no way this is going to work. These guys aren't that dumb. But as more and more of them went by without stopping, it occurred to me that these guys were toons and apparently the very thing Ah did works all the time on QC Planet.

    But just as Ah thought Ah 'ad gotten away with something clever, it 'appened. The metal plate Ah 'ad been standing on with the bag of super concentrated caffeine turned out to be a trap door over an ingredient drop chute and Ah fell down the tube and splash landed into a sugary soup followed quickly by the entire bag of caffeine powder. Ah yelled for 'elp loudly before the suction of the vat mixer pulled me under and Ah ended up swallowing a load of the liquidated treat mixture.

    When Ah slowly opened my eyes, everything seemed animated and foreign to me. Ah was entirely naked in some sort of anime 'ospital bed where this strange toon character wearing a doctor's stethoscope around 'is neck was 'elping a sexy sheila finish the stomach pumping on me. Ah remember throwing up one last time into a toon 'ole, then the toon doctor carefully rolled me over and checked my 'eart rate as 'e looked at me close up. That's when it came to me who Ah was seeing.

    "Yakko Warner?" Ah asked feeling weak. "Where am Ah? And who's the sheila? She's pretty."

    Dr. Warner smiled. "She is Ms. Hello Nurse; my assistant. Do you remember who you are, kid? You swallowed a lot of Toonium Doggy Treat mixture. They almost didn't get you out in time."

    "Ah'm Nick Kane, a choir boy from down under. Blackall region," Ah said. "Doc... tell me the truth... why does everything look... strange to me. And Ah don't mean the toon surroundings either... my eyesight seems... off."

    Dr. Warner released a sigh as 'e patted my what seemed like furry chest. Furry? "Yas were transformed into a Posture Problematic Toon Husky or as people on Earth say, a Feral."

    That was not what Ah wanted to hear. And so the shock of what Ah 'eard cause me to do what anyone in my position would do. Ah fainted.

    End of Chapter One
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