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  • EE-03 Thanks for Giving a Damn

    Exiled to Earth

    EE-03 Thanks for Giving a Damn
    By Darrel "Lord Pouchlaw" Vanwinkle
    June 28th, 2015


    Chapter One

    :Freeborn farm, Ridgeview, South Dakota; Planet Earth:

    "My pack was one made before I was ready to have a pack," said Southfang. "My Alpha allowed me to make one to teach me a lesson in leadership and obligation. Every humiliating test he devised for me failed to stumble me nor trip me up. My pack and I kept succeeding. In the end, an enemy pack invaded the home realm and during the initial battle, my father commanded me to retreat and get my pack to safety, not realizing that the enemy had already cut off the only way out. We ran right into an ambush. My pack was slaughtered while I rolled with the strike and was left bleeding just off of the main trail, unmoving. They thought I was dead as they charged on into camp to back attack my father and his forces. I was found by my mother and she transported me to her brother's pack on the far side of the mountains. My uncle became my new Alpha while I was the sole survivor of the massacre that wiped out my pack."

    Spiritfang commented, "Were the enemy of the Blade-Talon Demon Hound Pack? They are the ones who wiped out my tribe."

    Southfang nodded his head slowly. "Yes, it was them. They tried to get into my new Alpha's pack ground, but the wards around the mountain repelled them every time they tried to enter. It was like running into a rubber wall of energy. It would throw them backward at least a mile. Once I was nursed back to health, my uncle told me to call him father and he offered to teach me how to be a real Alpha so next time I would know exactly what to do. I had friends in the first pack... They live on in my nightmares as well as my fondest memories."

    Coingazer then said, "Thank you, Southy. Now you have earned my side of the story. My father did something about like yours did. But instead of having me instate a pack as an Alpha, He enscripted me into becoming an Imperial Council Hound before I was legally ready to be one. Our job was very simple. Our job was to investigate Council corruption whenever we happened to overhear Council members being sneaky and wrong. The most boring part was that for most of the time, we had to sit back and listen to all of those extremely boring Council drivel meetings. Yes, we got to hear some of the juicy details of the workings of how the Underworld is ran, but again, the moment an investigation came up, we had to go stick our noses into it. Although I never slacked in my job, one of the council members learned that a few of us Shadow Hounds were not adults yet and he applied pressure to the Underworld Hounds Authority. My last day of work for this crooked bunch was when I was investigating a gambling arrangement that one of the council members illegally ran. I participated in some of the games and found them to be fun. Far more fun than what my usual job was. When I went to report in, My father was being held by the Authority and I told them about the gambling circuit. When asked if I thought it was illegal, I said, the location was not the most probable for the activity, but were it moved to a more publicly accessible place, I could find nothing illegal in its dealings. Currently with the location alone, it could be considered illegal because it was so hard to get to. The Authority simply told the council member to make the circuit more accessible to the public. My father was disappointed in me. The council member made sure my account was not only credited for protecting his dignity, but he provided me with a paid scholarship to the college of my choice. The council member then rescinded his complaint against my father for hiring younger more open minds to the Council Hounds. My father had words for me later just before the proving rites began. He told me that if I survived with the others, don't ever bother to return or I would died upon arrival. He said I was a failure for licking the council's rear end instead of telling the truth. Then I ended up with you guys."

    "So you were never a member of council," said Southfang looking abashed. "I apologize for slinging that accusation, Coingazer. Alpha bloods make mistakes."

    "As do Council Hounds, Southy," he replied. "But the one mistake I will not make is to throw Isaac aside now that he needs us far more than ever. Are you going to make that mistake? Anyone? I hope not."

    Dragontail then remarked, "The glow is finally subsiding, guys. Why did it last so long?"

    Coingazer turned to Dragontail and replied, "If Southfang becomes an Alpha for this pack with us as his pack members, he can remove the demonic block on Isaac with an Imperial decree. But as he said, it is not legal to become an Alpha during the proving rites. However, what is the last test involved, Dragontail?"

    "According to the book, we all have to either join or form a pack to become members of but only after all other proving rites are completed. The formation of this pack does not require established Alphas... only official Underworld judges to witness the formation of the pack. And if you will recall, we have Cerebrum, Distractus, and Recordspaw in the other room. So first, we need to perform our powers and prove we can use them intelligently. Then we deal with the pack issue. But as everyone recalls, we had the pack forming discussion on the way to the canyon the first night. We all agreed that if Southfang formed a pack, we would all gladly join it."

    Coingazer said, "The glow lasted to prove itself as real. Plus, it is an aura protection field versus evil forces. It lasted that long because it sensed evil intent but once that evil was gone, the glow went away. It is like an early warning light. However, none of us are evil so what or who was it detecting?"

    Southfang looked to Firepaw. "New plan. Firepaw, you will use your fire breath to forge a path from the house to the blacksmith forge. We will all go there with Jackpaw. We will then complete our tests out there with the Evaluators as our witness. Then when we form the new pack, only then will I agree to be the Pack Alpha. Once I have gained that mantle, I will remove the demonic block on Isaac's powers. After that, we return to the house for a well deserved meal. As for sensing evil, Coingazer is right; none of us are evil. So who is the spy?"

    Firepaw commented, "As strange as this will sound, I have an idea. I know I've been quiet up to now but Southfang, Dragontail, you both come with me; Coingazer, you and Spiritfang stay here with Jackpaw. We will return soon."

    End of Chapter One

  • #2
    Chapter Two

    As the three male hellhounds proceeded through the house toward the attic stairs, Southfang asked, "What is your idea, Firepaw? And why are we going to the attic. The only thing up there is..."

    Dragontail seemed to figure it out first. "...the information devil mouse services. Good plan, Firepaw, I get it."

    Southy turned to look at Dragontail. "I am in the dark on this one."

    Dragontail remarked, "Do you recall when the last time you contacted information services was and why you did it? You should, it allowed me to get up here finally. The Dragontail fake. Firepaw's plan is to ask information services to verify every hound who is currently up here to make sure we are who we say we are. Whomever doesn't check out, is outed for extradition back to the Underworld. Just as my fake was. If a fake is instated into your new pack, then the proving rites pack would definitely fail because the Alpha in question could not discern a good hound from an evil one and thus would be proven inept."

    Firepaw nodded his head. "We should have verified everyone the first time we contacted them, but we didn't. Now we have to."

    When the three hellhounds stuck their heads up through the attic opening, their appearance nearly caused a stir. "It's the proving rites pack, guys," Firepaw quickly said. "We need to ask a question." When the devimice settled back down once again, the fire hound continued. "As an oversight that we realize we had faulted on before, we need to ask for a verification on all Hellhounds currently in the Proving Pack to make sure they are legitimately who they say they are. Including ourselves. We suspect that one of the pack is in fact an evil spy."

    Southfang added, "Contact the Alphas when possible because we have heard some conflicting back stories regarding certain hounds' histories."

    Not surprisingly, Firepaw's, Southfang's, Dragontail's and Coingazer's back stories checked out. Then came the one they were not expecting. A Law Imp was summoned at that point when the head Devimouse stepped forward and began telling of Spiritfang's true back story. "It is good that you began to get suspicious, Rites Pack. This is the true back story on Spiritfang. First of all, like the fake Dragontail proved, she isn't who she claims to be. Her true name is Poisonpaw Bladetalon of the pack of the same title. If you confront her with this information, she will attack you with magical spells and poison strikes. Her pack was also responsible for exiling the Angehounds to Earth and now that you have found one of them, she believes she must complete the duty her pack assigned as before. To kill it. The true Spiritfang is a fair shaman Hound in training. And definitely male. As you are probably aware by now or suspect as much, female hellhounds are never sent on Proving Rite outings; only the males are so sent forth on these things. The females are often involved in arranged marriages or outright rebellions. We have contacted Spiritfang directly and he tells us an interesting story of his own. He completed the proving rites several summers ago. In fact, if he were younger, he says, he would have loved to have gone to Earth. He is a very old Shaman Hound. Although his grandson is the age for a proving rite. Sightseeker was only recently contacted regarding the proving rites. He has been studying in the arts of Oraclism and Fortune telling. He could be a great asset to your pack. This Law Imp will help you in confronting Poisonpaw. The story to use is for her to use the fire from Firepaw to open a vortex to the blacksmith building since you have all been there before. Once the vortex exists, you, Southfang, should mentally command the vortex to lead to the Imperial dungeons. We have a strike squad in position for when she arrives. Then you ask her to lead the way or if she won't go first, then you push her through the vortex. Use whatever trick you must as long as she goes through it. She is very evil."

    The Law Imp then said, "Also remember that an Alpha would never teach an underling how to open the vortex that leads out of the Underworld otherwise there would be Hellhounds roaming all over the Outer Planes and across multiple worlds. So her story that she opened the vortex herself when her proving rite time came is a lie. She wouldn't have known how to do it. Her Alpha would have that knowledge."

    Dragontail said, "Makes sense because even before Southfang explained which pack destroyed his father's pack, she automatically provided the pack name that did it. Her own pack."

    Southfang growled. "Okay guys, now it is personal. Let's get rid of this faker."

    With the Law Imp becoming invisible yet following the others, the three hellhounds rejoined the others on the front porch of the house, where Firepaw started the lie by saying, "Aren't you glad we asked information services to confirm all of the coming Rites tests we have to complete. I was right... we missed one."

    Dragontail played along with a grin. "That's right. The test of Trust. He then pulled out the blindfold and Southfang tied it around the fake Spiritfang's head and over her eyes. "This test actually takes several days because each of us has to be blindfolded one each day. And because we might need Spiritfang to be coherent later, she must go first so she can help the rest of us later."

    Since Southfang had been an Alpha of a pack too early, his former father had taught him how to open vortexes. Since he had that knowledge himself he now had to use it to open the vortex himself. But instead of a standing up vortex, he opened one that lay flat on the snow covered ground just off the edge of the porch and he instructed Spiritfang to walk out into the yard.

    The moment she stepped off of the porch and she felt the fall beginning, she quickly tried to reach up and pull the blindfold off because it required sight to use her powers. But this was stopped when Recordspaw slapped her hellhound head with a two by four board as hard as he could swing it. And then she fell down through the vortex. Distantly, the Rites Pack heard, "We got her! Thanks Rites Pack! Great job!" And then the vortex closed which revealed that it took a lot of the snow from the yard with it.

    End of Chapter Two

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    • #3
      Chapter Three

      Southfang sighed, looking tired and dejected. "We failed. Strike two. Two fakes and we were fooled both times. Now what do we do?"

      Jackpaw nuzzled the side of Southfang's neck. "Life lessons cannot be called a failure, Southy. Besides, the rites tests have not failed at all. We still have two to go. If I am an Angehound and this healer and miracle worker, then I have to become the pack's healer to replace the fake we just ousted. Although she was using an upper world power like I do, she used it for wrongful purposes. Come on, Southy... let's get these last two rites tests completed and then I'll fix all of us a huge dinner instead of the usual junk food meal I have been providing to the pack."

      Firepaw remarked. "On the bright side, everyone else has been verified. No more fakes nor spies. We can still succeed in the proving rites, Southfang."

      Coingazer flipped his coin with a smile. "And with a steadfast like Dragontail to back you up, we cannot fail. I wonder what the odds on him are like?"

      Dragontail helped Southfang up to his paws. "Two more rites, Alpha boy, and then the meal of meals from Isaac."

      Southfang was glad for the moral support of his friends. "I don't deserve friends like you guys. Okay, let us get to the powers display and usage test. I sure hope the camera imps are watching this because this is not something I want to have to repeat."

      Firepaw created his wall of fire from his breath weapon. And then Coingazer cloaked the ground in a shroud of shadowy darkness. Dragontail caused a solid rock formation to grow from the yard itself. And finally, Southfang enabled his wind powers to extinguish the flames and blow away the shadows with the added ability to wrap the hellhounds in a barrier of tropical air.

      Jackpaw focused his powers now at the top of the rock formation and was rewarded when he caused a lightning bolt to emerge from his mouth and obliterate the rock formation in a loud blast. As the dirt from the blast covered the snow around the yard, Southfang said, "Again... I hope the glow doesn't last as long this time. We know it exists and this time, no evil intent is around." And thankfully, the glow subsided rather quickly.

      Returning inside the farmhouse, the hellhounds went straight to the pack den where Recordspaw and the two Nightmare stallions stayed most of the time. Southfang then said to the group within. We are now about to instate the last Rites test and for this we need witnesses as for the official record. Law Imp!" And when the expected poof occurred in the room, Southfang continued. "As per the rules of the proving rites, We either have to join or form a pack in which those in the tests will agree upon therein. I, Southfang, son of a former Alpha, am now hereby ready to form that pack within the final test of the proving rites. Are there any here who would join me in this undertaking to become my Beta Captains within this pack?"

      Jackpaw stepped forward and said, "If you will still have me, Southfang, I would join your pack. I Jackpaw, otherwise known as Isaac Freeborn, an Angehound by designation albeit in exile, am ready to accept your approval."

      Firepaw stepped forth and said, "As long as I do not have to return to the Hell Furnaces save for missions from you that require this of me, I, Firepaw, would join your pack. We have proven to be good for one another."

      Coingazer stepped forward and said, "Despite suspicions early on, perseverance won out in the end, Southfang, for I, Coingazer of the Council based Shadow Hounds, would like to join your number as a member of your pack, if you would have me."

      "With my knowledge of the militant ways of the hellhounds, I, Prince Dragontail, would throw in my offer to join your pack, Southfang, to help educate all within the pack in the ways of alertness and duty. If you would have me."

      Southfang arched an eyebrow at the last statement. "Prince? You hid it well, Dragontail. Although I would imagine your father might have words regarding your decision. A fine collection of hounds in this pack. With our witnesses as judges and the Law Imp to officialize this test, I accept one and all of you into the Cardinal Rites Pack. As we each represent one of the elements, the pack name is only fitting because we came together in the same proving rites. Or Cardinal Pack for short."

      The Law Imp nodded his head before summoning a Records Imp and then they restated their vows of joining a pack and the official document was then paw marked by all five hounds. Recordspaw Darkpouch applied the Lord Impy witness seal to the official document and then the Imps departed to file the pack formation document within the Imperial records department.

      Jackpaw then smiled at Southpaw and the others. "Coingazer, now would be a good time to instruct Southfang on how to remove the demonic block on my powers. He is now an official Alpha."

      One instructional later and the new pack watched Southfang declare the pack decree upon Jackpaw also known as Isaac Freeborn to lift the demonic curse from their pack mate and friend.

      All over Jackpaw's body, a sparkling effect occurred, cascading up and down his fur in every which way until a black aura dislodged from his head and dissipated into nothingness.

      End of Chapter Three

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      • #4
        Chapter Four

        The next few hours were spent by both Isaac back in his human form with the assistance of Recordspaw Darkpouch in the kitchen preparing the large Thanksgiving dinner for all of the household residents. The only break came when the phone rang and Isaac had to go answer it. "Isaac speaking." He paused when he heard who was calling. "Actually, Maria... I am preparing a huge dinner for my friends and the dogs. No, that's okay. Let me speak to John." He waited for the exchange of speakers before continuing. "John, listen... keep Maria away from here. I have more of Hellena's denizens at the farm and they don't know you guys. You and Maria should be more worried about her brother should he show up for Thanksgiving." He paused and said, "His name is Winston Phelps; I told you that the first time. What's that? What else do I have out here? John, two nightmare stallions, and a Devi-kangaroo as well as a collection of camera imps who are filming a TV show for an underworld television network. Please don't let Maria come over here. Thanks, John." He then hung up the phone as he returned to the kitchen. "Maria wanted to come over and help prepare food for my friends. I had to ask John Holden to prevent Maria from coming over here."

        "You liked Maria once upon a time, eh mate?" asked the devil kangaroo as he helped Isaac prepare a rich brown gravy for the potatoes.

        Isaac replied, "Once, yes. But I shouldn't even be thinking about her since she is already married. I sort of gave up once she returned from college and she had a husband with her."

        "Tell you what, mate..." remarked Recordspaw. "Tonight, after hours, I will share something with you that might make you feel a lot better. In the meantime, I think we should get the table set for the others. This is going to be some meal."

        Once the table was set and all of the household residents were placed into canine capable chairs at the table, Isaac and Recordspaw filled everyone's plates with equal servings of the Thanksgiving dinner. The two nightmare stallions simply stood at one end of the table where they would partake of their dinner. And the Information services devil mice were able to simply sit directly on the table itself. No one had ever served them a meal quite like this before. Even Lord Impy himself showed up for this dinner, which was a surprise for Isaac since he thought the DTV CEO would have been too busy for something as common as this. "Thank you for the considerate attendance, Lord Impy. And now as is traditional for a Thanksgiving dinner, I will say a prayer modified for my guests. To which ever lord my guests hold reverence to, we are gathered here tonight to give thanks over this meal to commemorate the successful tests of the proving rites and to form a bond of friendship for which we have all well earned this fine repast. May we all see long life and further healthy endeavors within the Cardinal Pack. Thank you, great lords, whom ever each of my guests hold dear to their hearts." He then smiled at his friends and said, "Dig in."

        Lord Impy summoned bottles of wine for usage at this dinner. "Only the best for entertaining my viewing audience, Isaac. The Cardinal Sins reality show is a big hit among my viewers as they are very interested in everything Southfang's pack is getting into here on Earth. Not to mention, they love seeing your interactivity in this hellhound pack."

        "Even though I am an angehound, sir?" asked the human as he served the imp lord his dinner.

        "That part does not seem to matter to my viewers, Isaac," said Lord Impy. "In fact, we have viewers among the upper worlds as well. I got contacted by an arch angel just this morning asking for more information on you, directly, as well as your father's disappearance. With the show's coverage, more and more planar citizens are curious about your father's mystery. And everyone loves seeing how you interact with a bunch of hellhounds. And despite wondering, the camera imps are around filming even when you think you're alone. You guys are big stars currently. Even your former Alphas have contacted me regarding your involvement in this newly formed pack. Southfang's uncle says that as long as Southy remembers all that he tried to teach him, he cannot go wrong. Firepaw's Alpha stated that it is good that Firepaw continues to practice with his fire powers because the furnaces have not been as hot since he left. Coingazer's Alpha conveys an apology for the words he gave you before you left for this journey and he further states that the Council services you are providing to your new pack have not been anything other than on the spot for what the Pack should expect of you. He said you matured since starting this adventure. And Dragontail, your Alpha was not happy that you chose to join a commoner's pack since he feels that you should have opted to become the Alpha to instate a royal pack. Although he is proud that you are representing the militancy of your former family and if you ever fail to continue doing so, he will show up to teach you the error of your ways."

        Southfang grinned. "So he thinks I am a commoner, does he? Hoo-boy, he should do a background check on my bloodline."

        Lord Impy giggled before replying, "If he did that, he might shit down both back legs."

        Southfang grinned at the imp lord at that point. "So you know, do you?"

        Lord Impy grinned back at the hellhound. "Did you really think I didn't think you looked familiar when I saw that it was you in this pack? In fact, you are likely more noble blooded than Dragontail, here. True, he is a prince, but you are so much more than that. Your father was the direct son of a hellhound that the entire Underworld knows all too well."

        Dragontail arched his eyebrows at the conversation at that point. "Then who is Southfang related to. I don't recognize his resemblance to any hellhound I have ever been educated in the knowledge of. To me, he doesn't seem to be anyone special."

        Since Southfang was done with his meal anyway, he leaped out of his chair and went over to stand in front of a side wall where he struck a very militant pose before stating his full true name as well as who he was directly blood related to. "Southfang Kisume, grandson of General Diablo Kisume of the 87th Hellhound Brigade."

        End of Chapter Four

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        • #5
          Chapter Five

          Later that night when Isaac groggily came into his bedroom to get some sleep, he noticed a feminine shape in his bed awaiting him. "Who's there?" he asked quietly as he approached the bed in his undershorts.

          As he got closer, he heard Recordspaw's voice from the bed itself. "I promised you a nice surprise tonight, Isaac. Now get in bed and meet Hellena. The other hellhounds told me how you created Hellena to explain where the dogs came from. And since you cannot have Maria, I am giving you Hellena tonight. Don't worry about this feeling weird; with my shape changing power, I am currently one hundred percent female and anatomically correct. Come on and take a chance, Isaac. You trust Southfang and the others, don't you? Besides, this will be fun."

          As he slid into bed and under the covers, he felt 'Hellena's' hands slowly explore over his chest and legs as he felt the female hands remove his undershorts in preparation for the fun to come. "Are you sure this is going to be okay, Recordspaw? I don't want to get you in trouble."

          Recordspaw replied from Hellena's mouth, "It will be fine, Isaac, I've done this loads of times when I filmed porn for Lord Impy. And the best part is... you cannot get any diseases from an underworlder. We are far cleaner than most disgusting surface worlders. Just do with me what you cannot do with Maria. I can help you practice for something better to come in the future. Besides, if you don't do me, I will do you."

          "You will? But..." the rest was cut off when Hellena planted a deep kiss on Isaac's mouth as the female body pulled the young man directly under her as she sat upright in his lap and gyrated up and down on the man's shaft. "Recordspaw... I'm... gonna..."

          "Just do it, mate." she replied. "It wouldn't be the first time I've ever been flooded in only a few minutes. However, I will teach you how to make a session last a lot longer than a few minutes. And don't worry about getting me pregnant. I've been pregnant before; it isn't so bad."

          "You have? But you're a boy..." he moaned as he couldn't stop himself from firing off a steady stream into his bed partner. "I mean, a male. That isn't supposed to be possible..."

          "Underworld magic, mate. In fact, you should try it some time. As I said, It isn't so bad. Every Hellhound can do it. And since you did join their pack, they might expect this of you during the heat season in the Spring. Now come on... my turn to teach you how it's done." And Hellena pulled free of Isaac's shaft before transforming back into his male devil kangaroo form and proceeding to turn the man over to give him the gift almost exactly as he gave it to Recordspaw. "Relax... I promise you, this is safe." And with that, he plunged his prehensile shaft deeply into the human's tail hole to begin giving him the educational lesson that was promised to him.

          The rest of any complaint Isaac was to give was lost in pleasureful moans and gasps, as the young man lay there panting and coated in both his own and the devil kangaroo's sweat and body fluids, both good and sexual.

          "Congratulations Isaac," said Recordspaw as he held the young man close to him. "Now you're as pregnant as I am. This will be a good educational Winter. When you're ready to give birth in a few hours thanks to magical gestation, I'll help teach you how to do it without going into a seizure. The first time always feels weird."

          "Won't that cause a problem when I have to work. How are we going to raise baby joeys?"

          Recordspaw giggled as he hugged Isaac. "My mob leader back home will raise them. That is a realm rule that I obey and since our joeys will be joeys, you won't have to worry about raising them. Although you will get visitation rights once they are old enough to talk. For now, we should get some sleep. Tomorrow morning, I promise you'll get to see them before I send them to their grandpa."

          One restful slumber later and it was morning as Isaac felt as if he was trying to crap out what felt like a soft wedge of clay. He found Recordspaw on hand with Southfang as the devil kangaroo had his paws inside of the young man's anus to assist the young one in being birthed. In a bowl of cleaning fluid, Isaac could see three other joeys being carefully sponge cleaned by Lord Impy. Apparently two joeys came out of Recordspaw and the other one was from Isaac. The final one was apparently being stubborn although with a little effort, the final one popped free from Isaac's bottom as he was deposited into the cleaning bowl.

          Southfang smiled at Isaac with a dopey hellhound grin. "You survived your first time giving birth to a set of devil kangaroo joeys. How do you feel?"

          Isaac gritted his teeth as he said in gasps, "Not like going to Disneyland... How do you think I feel? That hurt like..." he didn't think 'Hell' was the right word to use to a Hellhound. So instead he said, "...Heaven."

          Southfang smiled. "He is ready for the healing cream now, Recordspaw."

          Recordspaw showed Isaac the cute joeys before he started applying the healing cream deeply into the young man's anal tract. "This will help you heal up fast, mate. As I said last night, it only hurts the first time."

          End of Chapter Five

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